Chocks Away Part 3, Happy Landings

I have been searching for Cockersdale singing Keith Marsden’s ‘Left Left Right Steady Man’ since I posted the first part of ‘Chocks Away’ to no avail. I have managed to locate the lyrics and they are printed below.

Left Left Right Steady Man

1.
Rear gunner on a lancaster in spring of 'forty four,
Son, don't ever volunteer-o,
I'd seen my share of fighting and I'd had my fill of war,
Son, don't ever volunteer-o,
Over Stettin, over Norway, over Munich and Berlin,
I'd lost count of all the scraps and scrapes, near misses I'd been in,
But I only needed three more trips to get my nineteen in,
Son of mine, don't ever volunteer-o.
I got a left, left, right, steady man, oops!, go round again,
Go round again, lord what a pain,
Blind as a bat he was and where was his brain,
Left, left, right, steady man, oops!, go round again.
2.
I signed on with the new lot to make up a trip or two,
Son, don't ever volunteer-o,
I should have seen the warning signs, their flying suits were new,
Son, don't ever volunteer-o,
No-hopers, never-would-be's and all wet behind the ears,
The other fellows told me that by bed time there'd be tears,
But I never dreamt how they'd fulfil the worst of all my fears,
Son of mine, don't ever volunteer-o,
I got a left, left, right, steady men, oops!, go round again,
Go round again, lord what a pain,
On his wedding night, it was such a sight, you could hear his wife complain,
About left, left, right, steady man, oops!, go round again.
3.
It should have been an easy trip, some dams off Falkland way,
Son, don't ever volunteer-o,
The kind of trip you go to miss, to try another day,
Son, don't ever volunteer-o,
The flak was light, the fighters few, a piece of bread and jam,
Drop short to get that extra trip, for god's sake miss the dam,
Then flick your wings to spoil the film and back to blighty scram,
Son of mine, don't ever volunteer-o,
I got a left, left, right, steady man, oops!, go round again,
Knock ein again, the german gunners refrain,
And the night fighter pilot, he was laughing like a drain,
At left, left, right, steady man, oops!, go round again.
Left, left, right, steady man (2)
4.
He shot us through the bomb bay and he shot us through the wings,
Son, don't ever volunteer-o,
He shot away the engines and he shot away the fins,
Son, don't ever volunteer-o,
We staggered past the beaches and we put down in the drink,
All seven in one dinghy as the light began to sink,
And in the rush the skipper never even stopped to think,
Son of mine, don't ever volunteer-o,
He set the left, left, right, steady man, oops!, go round again,
To steering us back, sure he must have been cracked,
With a chump like him on compass would we see England again,
Left, left, right, steady man, oops!, lost on the maine.
5.
We paddled round in circles two whole days and two whole nights,
Son, don't ever volunteer-o,
Till gleaming through the mist and rain at last we saw some lights,
Son, don't ever volunteer-o,
"Ahoy! are we near England" shouted left-left silly bugger,
"Are you the air-sea rescue or perhaps some fishing lugger",
"Ach, nein, ve are an E boat in ze harbour of Zeebrugge"
Son of mine, don't ever volunteer-o,
I got a left, left, right, steady man oops! go round again,
Got us out of the drink, and straight into clink,
The possibility of future fatherhood for him we all made quite plain,
To left, left, right, steady man, oops!, go round again.
6.
Should have been on leave in Blackpool spending all my Nuffield pay,
Son, don't ever volunteer-o,
With holes burnt in my pockets and a new girl every day,
Son, don't ever volunteer-o,
But I'm sitting in this stalag, going mad on acorn tea,
And wishing I could be there in old A.C.R.C.
For the bleeding left, left, steady man is bunking next to me,
Son of mine, don't ever volunteer-o,
I got a left, left, right, steady man oops! go round again,
The war finished last week, but he's tunnelling again,
He's down there still digging, we're all catching the train,
Without left, left, right, steady man, oops!, go round again.


As this trip comes into land Ian told me about a comedy duo, The Oblivion Boys that Guzzisue and himself had seen in the past. Apart from appearing in several sketches on television programmes in the 1980’s they did a series of advertisements for a brand of larger. The product is not to our liking but their commercials are well remembered, especially this one with the upkeep mines.





Something to look forward to in my next post (which is nearly ready), the answers to my photo quiz. All will be revealed this week.